


Her Doctor

by Damdamfino



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Getting to know you, Pete's World, Post-Journeys End
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-12-25 08:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12032490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damdamfino/pseuds/Damdamfino
Summary: Takes place immediately after the Rose and the Doctor parted ways for the last time. How can she cope with this man who looks like the Doctor, sounds like the Doctor, but he's just not the Doctor. He's just a stranger living in her house.





	Her Doctor

She felt selfish.

The Doctor had given her this man who looked just like him, sounded just like him, thought just like him and yet she still wanted more. The Doctor, even in their last moments, had given her the world...and she wanted to spit it back in his face. Whenever she looked at this new Doctor it just made her miss the real Doctor even more.

The moment the Doctor had disappeared in his TARDIS and out of her life forever, reality settled in.

He was gone. And she still had so many things she wanted to say to him, things she wanted to do. She had fought so hard and for so long to find him again, to break down the barriers between worlds because she needed to be with him again. Then she literally had to turn around and face her real fate.

The carbon copy.

He looked on through innocent eyes to her pain and anguish. She couldn't bring herself to touch him. It would be like trying to grasp a ghost. Her trust with him had to be built – just like with the real Doctor.

"C'mon, sweetheart," Jackie cooed and wrapped an arm around Rose. "Your father will be here soon."

But it wasn't really going to be soon at all – it would take hours for her father to reach this beach. Until then, she was stuck here with him when all she wanted to do was to forget for just a moment what was happening.

They all situated themselves on rocks away from the shore and it was dead silent for the first ten minutes. Rose stared at the spot where the TARDIS had just been and regarded everything around her like a dream. Everything that had just happened – she was waiting to wake up any moment and for it all to have been a dream. Or a nightmare. She would still have a chance to change it all and find The Doctor and stay with him. She wouldn't have to feel this huge ache in her chest.

She glanced behind her to her mother and the new Doctor. She didn't even like calling him that. He wasn't really the Doctor – not really.

Jackie was staring at the waves but glanced over when she felt Rose's gaze on her. Rose feigned a smile that couldn't reach her eyes. Jackie didn't smile back, and only furrowed her brow in concern.

The new Doctor was inspecting his fingernails awkwardly. He brushed some sand off his pants and ran his fingers through his hair. He was like a kid with ADHD, unable to keep his new body still. He must have known Rose was looking at him but he didn't look up at her, and she was so glad he didn't. She needed a moment to examine him – to look for something that was different between her Doctor and this Doctor. But, to her disappointment, there was nothing to differentiate between the two - at least physically.

She sighed and looked away again. She didn't know what to do with him – part of her wanted to jump him as soon as she saw him, the other part knew he wasn't the same man, and she couldn't get over that. The Doctor spoke in riddles that didn't make sense – she knew they weren't the same person no matter what he had said.

"But, it's still not right. 'Cause, The Doctor's … still you," she croaked, barely above a whisper, willing her pain into her words. He seemed to brush off her comment, knowing if he lingered on it it would just make it harder for both of them.

"And I'm him."

But it still didn't make the new Doctor Her Doctor.

This Doctor didn't have what made Her Doctor so special. He didn't have a TARDIS that could travel the universe or live a life worth living. He wasn't a Timelord, with the two hearts for twice the love, or the years and years of life and experience that shaped him. And he didn't have their time together – all the hugs, jokes, friends and the moments she held his manly hairy hand. She hadn't forgotten any of those moments. She hoped the Doctor hadn't forgotten either.

The Doctor was like a superhero to her, and when you take away those superpowers, you just get a man. If you take away the powers, is the man still super?

The waves crashed loudly against the sand in response to her thought. Rose blinked away the threatening tears and breathed a sigh at the gray sky. A scream caught in her chest. 

No matter what, this was what she had to deal with. Her last mission from the Doctor. To help this man heal from war and hatred. If anything, anything at all, she owed the Doctor this last request.

"So…you're gonna just grow old and die?" she heard Jackie ask behind her. The man seemed to think for a long moment, then politely answered.

"Yes… I suppose so." He rubbed his neck. "It's weird being human. I've never had to be human before."

"Oh, it's alright," Jackie moaned, pushing the man playfully with a shoulder. "We'll help ya along. We'll get you a job, and you can stay with us and Rose. She has her own wing of the house, so you guys will have lots of privacy-"

"Mum!" Rose hissed curtly. Both Jackie and the man looked over, startled. Rose's minuscule shake of her head said everything.

"…we also have a guest bedroom that you're going to love." Jackie corrected herself quickly. Rose spaced out again, only hearing bits and pieces of Jackie's nervous rambling.

Rose sat away from them, staring pensively into the waves. This wasn't helping. She tried lying down on the sharp rocks. Maybe if she went to sleep she would wake up and all of this would go away. She tried situating her head comfortably and couldn't. She gave a small groan, frustrated that nothing seemed to want to work out for her today. All she wanted was to sleep, dammit. She closed her eyes begrudgingly and tried staying still, with a jagged edge digging into her shoulder.

After a few moments, she felt someone sit next to her. Rose sighed, thinking it was her mum, and looked up.

It was him.

Rose sat up quickly and tucked her hands between her knees to avoid touching him.

"What?" she asked innocently. She tried looking up at him, but couldn't. He looked so much like the Doctor. When she saw that face it brought back too many emotions she couldn't control. She desperately wanted to lunge at him, wrap her arms around his neck and cry. But then she would remember that it's not the same man and the pity would wash over her all over again.

"You looked uncomfortable," he said, his voice a low soothing sound. "I thought...maybe you could lie on my lap." Rose had to break her staring contest with the ocean to look back at him, shocked. As much as she wanted to do just that, it bothered her. That was something she would have accepted easily from the Doctor, but this man? She inched away from him a little more.

"No, thanks," she whispered. "I'm fine."

The silence fell again.

Well, apparently this man was as good with awkward silences as the Doctor was. It didn't phase him as he sat there, staring into the same ocean that she was. Rose was overcome with the nagging thoughts that she wished sleep could take away, and it angered her. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?

"I'm sorry," he said, breaking the silence. She resisted looking at his face again. Instead she opted to look at his hands, wringing over each other. Those marvelous hands…

"For what?" she asked, against her better judgment.

"I can tell you're upset. Your jaw locks when you're angry." She instantly relaxed it. "I just wanted to say… I don't want to cause you any trouble."

She fought the oncoming tears again.

"You said you had the same memories as him," she slowly started. "What memories, exactly?"

She didn't look over to him, but he took a long pause before answering her. The tension electrifying the air around them.

"I remember this beach. I remember the Olympics. I remember Jack and how jealous he made me feel. I remember being so scared of losing you. And I remember the feelings I had when I actually had lost you."

He said this all without a trace of effort, which hinted that he remembered more than he was admitting. He remembered just as much, if not more than she did. The pain in his voice was new, though. That must be the human part of him.

So, even if this wasn't the real Doctor, at least he was someone who had been through the same pain that she had. Someone who could relate to her. Not only was she missing out on the adventures and the life of a Time Lord – he was too. And he had to lose it the worst way – he was thrust into the unfamiliar life of humanity, without a choice. She knew how the Doctor felt about mundane things like jobs and mortgages. 

A small weight on Rose's shoulders was lifted, if only temporarily, as she realized what this friendship could be. It could be a coping mechanism. For both of them.

She shifted and the man started, confused. She leaned over and rested her head gingerly on his lap.

"Is this okay?" she asked, barely above a whisper. Her head bobbed with his body as he took in a deep breath.

"Yeah," he sighed. His body was tense as he almost draped an arm around her, but stopped himself and put it behind him instead.

 

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End file.
